<TITLE>18. Par 132-146</TITLE>L-132   And so as I went along like that, something taken place. All of a sudden, in every motion, principle, I was a boy, I thought as a boy. And I had my head down, and I looked up. And just as plain as I ever saw her, there she stood before me with her arms out. And I stopped; rubbed my face. I looked. I said, "Meda, is that you, Honey?"

L-133 I looked here, I thought, "Now what's happened?" And I thought, "Yes, I'm walking with Him." And it changed then, I was back an old man again, and the vision was gone from front of me.

L-134 And I stopped; I took my hat off again, put it over my heart. I said, "Jesus, my heart has been so burdened, for years. I don't have to tell You that I'm burdened. I've repented, I've repented, I've done everything I know. And why has it this burden don't leave me?"

L-135   And I just started walking on. And as I climbed this little knoll, just about thirty, forty yards in front of me; I started up this little knoll, I begin to feel real weak. And there was a little quaking asp, about ten inches through, come up and made like a L, and then went up again. And just as I got there, I felt so weak I was staggering. So I just... I had my cap back on again. And I just laid my head up against this; fit me just right, to lay my head right here against that little quaking asp, like this. It's really a poplar. It's like, looks like a birch, you see. And it's a... I was laid against there. And I was just standing there with my head down, that warm sun hitting me in the back. And I think, "The very God, that departed that rain and that wind!"

L-136 And I heard something going, "pat, pat, spat."

L-137 I thought, "What's that? The water is all blowed off. Sun is out. What's that spat?" I looked down; it was water from my own eyes, cutting down through the gray beard and dropping off on the dry leaves that God had dried up, laying before me. I just stood there like this, just against the tree. My hand, this hand down, my head laying against the tree, my hand on the rifle sling, like this, standing there, crying.

L-138   I said, "God, I'm not worthy to be Your servant." And I said, "I, I'm sorry, I--I made a... I've made many mistakes. I didn't mean to make mistakes, Lord. You've been so good to me."

L-139 My eyes closed; and I heard something going, "stomp, stomp; stomp, stomp."

L-140 I raised my eyes, and standing right in front of me come three deer. And I thought, "There is Brother Evans' one, Brother Woods'. And there is the three deer, see, just what I'm looking for." Now, the rain dried up; I reached to get my rifle. I said, "I can't do that. I promised God that I wouldn't do that." See? "I promised Him I wouldn't do it."

L-141 And something said to me, "But there it is!"

L-142 And I thought, "Yes, Sa-... That's what a--a man told David, one time, 'God has delivered him, I said, into your hands!'" You know, King Saul.

L-143 And Joab told him, said, "Kill him! There he lays!"

L-144 And he said, "God forbid that I'd touch His anointed."

L-145   And those deer stood there and looked at me. And I thought, "They can't get away. There is no way for them to get away. They're not thirty yards from me. And I got this rifle, standing here, and there is three deer. Nah, I can't do it. I--I just can't do it." It was a doe and two big fawns. So I--I--I just couldn't take the rifle. I said, "I can't." I--I never moved. I just stayed there. I said, "I can't do it, 'cause I promised God I wouldn't do it. Though, them brethren, they--they don't need them deer. See? I--I can't do this. I just can't do it."

L-146   And that doe come, walked. Now listen, there had been a hundred men shooting at them up there, for four or five days. Scary? The first sign of red... And I had on a red shirt, red cap. The first sign, they're gone; but they were standing there, all three of them, looking right at me.


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